BENJY
Benjy glanced at his watch. It was almost noon. He resisted the urge to pick up his phone to call Lizzy.
He had been clear in his text message to her: I know you said I didn’t know what I wanted, but I think I do now. I know this baby is throwing a spanner in the works of your life, I know my life will not change as much as yours will, but I am willing to see this through, to stand by you and our baby in whatever capacity I can. Please, consider keeping the baby. If your response is yes, please meet me at Cedar Hill Clinic on Friday by 12pm. I have booked an appointment with a doctor friend to set the ball rolling. If you don’t show up…well, I guess it’s goodbye.
He had opted for a text message because she had refused to pick up his calls for the past few days. It frustrated him but at the same time, amused him because the tables had now turned. After his conversation with Ore, he knew what he had to do, especially after hearing the news that their father planned to get married again. Somehow that news upset him more than he thought it would. Why did the man get to move on after making their mother’s life a living hell? And who was the woman who had agreed to marry a man who was over seventy?
He didn’t know why but something about the news also inspired him. If his father could start over at seventy-two, then surely he could open a new chapter in his life, too. He could be the father he never had to this maybe-child, he could do something good with his life, add some meaning to his existence. And no matter how scared he was of commitment, it was too late. He was responsible for that child whether or not he wanted it.
And so, yes, for the first time in his life, his father had done something that inspired Benjy to act.
He sat in the lobby, his eyes seeing but not comprehending the telenovela playing on the wall-mounted screen. He marvelled at the receptionist, a plump lady named Maria, who was able to check in patients while following the drama on TV.
Benjy tapped his foot against the floor, his heart racing as he wondered what he would do if Lizzy didn’t show up.
Would that be it? What would that mean? Would he be able to let go of the maybe-child, or of the notion that he could have been someone’s dad?
Before now, he had never seen himself as becoming a dad. Marriage wasn’t in the cards for him, and so automatically, neither was children. So he had never thought about the kind of father he wanted to be, and even now, he still wasn’t sure what the picture of a good father was.
“Benjy?”
He looked up from his phone where he had been contemplating whether or not to call Lizzy.
“You came!” He jumped to his feet and without thinking reached out to envelope her in a hug.
Apparently, Lizzy didn’t share his enthusiasm. She returned his hug with some hesitation as if they were strangers rather than people who were planning to co-parent.
“What changed your mind?” she asked, standing back with a hand resting loosely on her still-flat abdomen.
“What changed yours?” Benjy threw the question back at her. No way was he going to admit he had a hard conversation with his sister.
She shrugged.
At that moment, the receptionist called Benjy’s name.
“You’re here to see Dr Susan?” she asked when Benjy and Lizzy appeared at the front desk.
“Yes,” Benjy replied. “She’s expecting us.”
“Okay, do you know where her office is?”
“Same place as before, I guess. Down the hall, last door on the right?”
The receptionist nodded.
“How do you know her? You seem quite familiar with the clinic?” Lizzy asked as they travelled down the hallway.
Benjy sighed. It wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have.
“We dated a while ago,” he said.
Lizzy threw a look at him. “You’re bringing me to your ex-girlfriend’s clinic?”
“She wasn’t a girlfriend,” Benjy said. True. In fact, they had strictly been friends with benefits especially because Susan was engaged to be married to a Chief that her parents had arranged for her and she’d been in a reckless mood, wanting to explore all she could before she finally said I do. Benjy hadn’t known she was engaged until they had been sleeping together for a month when she’d casually mentioned that she had an appointment for a pre-wedding photoshoot.
That should have stopped them then, but Benjy was in too deep already plus she was the one with a lot to lose and if she was willing to carry on, then so was he.
“Same way I wasn’t a girlfriend?” Lizzy asked.
“Are we going to have this conversation every time we meet?”
“Until I’m satisfied with the answer, I guess so.”
They arrived at the door that read: “Dr. Susan Oguntade”.
After a quick knock, Benjy opened the door.
“You’re 14 weeks along,” Dr Susan said, handing Lizzy a towel to mop up the gel on her abdomen. “Everything looks good. Baby sounds good, nice, healthy heartbeat.”
Benjy didn’t know why hearing that made him feel proud: he had made that, a baby with a nice, healthy heartbeat. It had been surreal listening to the baby’s heart on the monitor, making it a real thing rather than a hypothesis. He could not run away from this anymore, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. He had created life and that life was currently growing within Lizzy.
“Congratulations, guys,” Dr. Susan gave a wry smile. “Benjy, I didn’t know you got married.”
Benjy laughed. “I know you’re fishing for information, Susan. So no, you know I didn’t get married.”
“He’s scared of commitment,” Lizzy said, pulling herself up to sit.
“As he should be,” Dr Susan said, “he’s too good to be enjoyed by just one woman.”
“Susan, please. You’re a married woman now. Can we not comment on my love life?”
“Also, am I going to have to listen to your” “sexscapades” anytime I show up for a doctor’s visit?” Lizzy asked.
“You are welcome to find another ob-gyn,” Dr Susan said, as she sanitized her hands. “In the meantime, ask the receptionist for the patient intake form and when you decide what to do, you can use it or not. I must tell you though, I don’t think Benjy brought you here because I was good in bed. That’ll be naive and stupid of him. Right, Benjy?”
Benjy shook his head. “I can’t believe we are talking about this. Liz, can we go now?”
“Can I see you for a moment, Benjy?” Dr Susan asked, her voice dripping honey.
“I’’ll be in my car,” Lizzy grabbed her bag and walked out.
“So, I see your shenanigans finally caught up with you,” Susan said as soon as they were alone.
Benjy shrugged. “Actions have consequences, right?”
“She’s a prickly one, though. Are you sure you’re both going to be able to do this together?”
“I guess we’ll figure it out.”
“And you’re sure this wasn’t planned?”
“Planned by who?”
“I don’t know. Your little girlfriend there. Like I said, you’re an eligible catch. I still have dreams about our time together.” She reached out, splaying her fingers on his chest.
She had lovely, long fingers that he’d enjoyed playing with back when they were together.
“I’m flattered, but no. I don’t think I’m that eligible of a catch for a woman to turn her life upside down. Anyway, enough about me. How’s Chief?. How’s life with you? How’s it being the wife of a chief and running your own practice? I thought he’d have asked you to shut down and become a stay-at-home wife.”
“Well, being a chief’s wife has its perks. Money, for one. I don’t lack it. Plus, he actually wants a woman who’s a professional so he can boast about me to his old friends. I don’t mind, honestly. It’s just the sex is…old and boring. I miss you.”
She closed the gap between them and before he could say a word, she planted her lips on his.
