ORE
Ore waited on the doorstep. She had heard Susan’s voice from within after ringing the doorbell so she
knew her friend would eventually make it to the door. She had a basket of assorted goodies in her hand,
a basket that she had curated specifically for Susan.
Ore hadn’t been to see her since she had her baby three months ago, and that was not by choice. Before
she had given birth, Susan had subtly made it known that they would be limiting friendly visits until the
baby was at least three months old. At first, Ore hadn’t understood her reasons and a part of her had
been offended at being cut out from the happiest moment of her friend’s life. After all, she and Susan
had been friends for five years and were practically family, so why was she being excluded from those
moments?
“My mother would be around and we’ll have so many family visits that it might overwhelm us and the
baby and I think we would rather prioritize my health and the baby’s over…well, social visits,” Susan
said. There was an apologetic lilt in her tone and Ore wondered briefly if this was what her friend
wanted or if it was what everyone else thought was best for her. Because yes, Susan could be a bit of a
pushover sometimes; unwilling and sometimes unable to make decisions for herself and perhaps that’s
why she and Ore worked together so well.
Anyway, here she was, after the three-month mark, ready to see the baby – Baby OJ in person – after
several video calls over the past few months. It was the video calls that had changed Ore’s mind, making
her less suspicious of Susan’s isolation. They spoke often after OJ was born, trading five to ten-minute
WhatsApp video conversations, and even though it didn’t feel the same, it gave Ore hope that all was
well.
“Ore,” the door opened and both women stepped into each other’s arms. “It’s so good to see you.”
Ore nodded, “you too, babe.”
“Come in, come in,” Susan stood aside to let Ore through.
Her friend smelled like…baby. That was all Ore could think of to describe the soft, flowery scent mixed
with the smell of breastmilk that was emanating from Susan.
“I brought this for you,” Ore presented the basket to her friend. “I know most people remember to buy
stuff for the baby, but forget all about the incubator.”
Susan laughed taking the basket from her hand. “Thank you, my sister. Do you know you’re the first
person bringing a gift for me?”
“Well, next time, don’t shut me out of your home.”
“Don’t be angry jare. It’s not like that. It was just such an overwhelming time and my mother-in-law
thought that the less people that came around the baby, the better for me.”
“The better for you or for her? Anyway, me I don’t understand. Didn’t you have a naming ceremony?”
Susan looked away, as she placed the basket on the carpet beside her. “It wasn’t a naming ceremony
per se,” she said. “Just a few family members and my mother-in-law’s prophet who prayed over the
baby. And I was inside the entire time!”
“That sounds…strange. Is everything okay? Also, who is your mother-in-law and where is she right
now?” Ore looked around. “Is she here? Let me not go and run my mouth o.”
Susan laughed. “She left last week. Do you want something to drink? I can offer you Coke or juice. I
haven’t really cooked anything in a while.”
“No, I want to see OJ. Where is he?”
“Sleeping. I just put him down like an hour ago.”
“Can I see him?”
“As long as you don’t wake him o.”
“Am I a monster?” Ore rolled her eyes.
As they made their way to the bedroom, Ore couldn’t help taking in the changes that had accompanied
her friend’s latest addition. There was a bassinet filled with clothes sitting in the living room, an ABC mat
lying in the middle of the living room with several baby toys on it. Susan had always been somewhat of a
perfectionist when it came to keeping her house clean that Ore couldn’t ever remember visiting and
seeing anything out of place. It was a running joke between them, how Ore had a maid but still managed
to have a house that wasn’t as tidy as Susan’s. Now, Ore marvelled at how much had changed in the
past few months of having a baby.
It wasn’t that there was anything untidy about the space, it was just that there seemed to be more
clutter and yes, more colour, in a way that was lacking before. It made Ore’s heart ache. She wanted
this. From when she was a little girl, she’d known she wanted to be a mother later. She wanted to have
four children, two of each. She had thought up until two years ago, that she would be able to fulfill her
dream but with each passing moment being married to Ramsey, she could see her dreams and desires
slipping away from her.
She stood over the grey crib where baby OJ lay in peaceful sleep and she peered into his face. He was
bigger than the photo Susan had sent, his legs chubby and round, his face puffy with breastmilk. She
wondered what it was like growing a child in your belly for months and then seeing them out in the
world, a real-life thing, breathing, sleeping and eating.
“He’s adorable,” she whispered.
Susan smiled and through the bags under her eyes, Ore spotted the glow of motherly pride.
“He’s the best thing that happened to me,” she said. “Some days it doesn’t feel like it, but then there
are those moments when you look at him and just think how worth it everything was.”
Ore nodded, feeling her throat close up.
“I need some water,” she said. She needed to get out of that room. There were many things she shared
with Susan about her personal life, but there were things she couldn’t share. Her deceit, for example.
She didn’t know how long she could keep it up – taking those pills without Ramsey’s knowledge. What
happens when he starts actively wanting a child? For now, she knows that being child-free serves his
purposes. He wants her looking young and slim and put together for his clients, and he is still quite
selfish with her, wanting her time and attention. He knows a baby will take all that away, and perhaps
that’s why he hasn’t mentioned their seeming infertility even though he often forgets to put on a
condom or withdraw in the nick of time.
Staying on the contraceptive pills was never supposed to be a long-term plan. She didn’t even know
what she was thinking when she started taking them, she had no plan except to not get pregnant. So far,
she had succeeded and even though they were just three years into their marriage, she knew it won’t be
long before Ramsey’s mother began to ask for a grandchild.
“Are you okay?” Susan asked, after handing her a bottle of water from the fridge.
For a moment, Ore considered opening up to her friend. What was that saying? A problem shared is a
problem half-solved? Except, she didn’t want to change the way Susan saw her and more importantly,
she didn’t want Susan to be privy to the gory details of her marriage. She knew that her friends envied
her marriage. She had had a whirlwind romance; met and married a man who was rich enough to own
houses across different states, a man who took her on vacations around the world, a man who willingly
paid for a maid to do the chores and the cooking, a man who didn’t request that Ore make his dinner or
do his laundry, a man that was very good-looking and charming. Ah yes, Ramsey was charming with
people. It was what made him a fantastic CEO, people loved to listen to him, they enjoyed basking in the
warmth of his attention. So, in her friends’ eyes, she had an advantage over them, so how could she tell
them it was all one big lie? That the grass always looked greener on the other side? That she would give
it all up if she had the simplicity and domesticity that they had? If she had the security that they had?
She thought of the Facebook message sitting pretty in her inbox. She had read it over and over again
since it came through three days ago. She hadn’t replied yet because she knew that replying was going
to mean something huge and she wanted to be sure of what she was doing. She was known for her
impulsiveness, it was how she had ended up with Ramsey in the first place – a young woman, still raw
from the loss of her mother, she had clung to the hand of hope Ramsey seemed to offer.
“I’m just…happy for you,” she said to Susan, patting her shoulder. “Motherhood suits you.”
Susan smiled again, “My mother-in-law thinks I should do exclusive breastfeeding for OJ.”
Ore replaced the cap of the water bottle, crossing her legs. “Susan, what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know that I can breastfeed exclusively for six months. It’s hard enough getting
enough milk to express for him now but I…want to be a good Mum. I want to do what’s best for him.”
Susan sighed. “It’s hard sometimes knowing what the right thing to do is.”
Ore reached out to grab her hands, “Babe, you are OJ’s mother. It may be new for you, but you carried
this baby for nine months. Your motherly instinct works. You have to trust yourself or you will end up
second-guessing every move you make for your baby. You need to block out the voices and think about
what’s best for you and OJ.”
Susan nodded, squeezing Ore’s hands slightly. “You would make such a good mum.”
Ore let a gentle smile curl on her lips. She had heard this comment several times – from friends and
family.
“What about Tosan?” she asked, referring to Susan’s husband. “What does he think about this?”
“You know how men are. He wants the best for his son, and he listens to his mother,” Susan rolled her
eyes. “I won’t lie, I’m lowkey glad she’s gone. She was a great help oh, don’t get me wrong. But she had
this way of making me feel like I was incompetent when it came to caring for her grandchild. She barely
let me hold him except when I needed to feed him.”
“What? Seriously? Babe, why didn’t you stand up for yourself?”
“Ha, that’s easy for you to say. Imagine being between your mother-in-law and your husband and both
of them agree on how things should be for your child.”
Ore could imagine it and it sent shudders down her spine. In a way, she felt like a hypocrite – there she
was encouraging Susan to stand up for herself when she couldn’t do the same for herself.
Like her, Susan’s mother had passed but unlike her whose mother had been gone for less than five
years, Susan’s mother had passed when she was still a teenager and sometimes Ore wondered whether
it was that tragedy that had dealt a blow to her friend’s confidence.
“Well, I’m sure you will figure it out eventually. Just remember to choose your well-being and peace of
mind over what people will say,” Ore said.
As if right on cue, they heard the sound of baby OJ coughing himself awake.
“And there goes my peace of mind,” Susan’s laughter was a hollow sound as she hurried off to comfort
her son.
Ore took out her phone at that moment and scrolled to her Facebook messenger.
She opened the last message and read it again.
Hey, I know this isn’t entirely appropriate, but is it weird that I haven’t been able to get you out of my
mind since I met you last week? I couldn’t let our meeting pass without saying what an incredible woman
I think you are. I wish I’d had more time to get to know you. I will be heading to Japan next weekend and
I would like to have dinner with you before I leave. You’re okay to ignore my invitation but if you think
that this interests you the slightest bit, then I will look forward to hearing from you. Cheers.
She felt the tingle in her belly, alongside another sensation – like the kind one gets when they feel like
doing a number two in the wrong place and at the wrong time.
